Welcome to The Jerk Next Door

He leaves you Salty, Satisfied and Slightly Ashamed!

Looking for meat that talks dirty and chews easy? You've come to the right side of the fence. Our small-batch jerky is handcrafted with attitude, spice, and more sass than your last situationship. Perfect for snacking, gifting, or emotionally eating while ghosting your ex.

Menu – $14 per 100g bag • 3 for $38

1. Mango Habanero – “Hotter Than Your Ex”
Flavour Profile: Sweet ripe mango collides with a fiery habanero kick. A tropical tantrum for your tastebuds.
Tagline: Sweet. Spicy. Probably still in your DMs.

2. Smoked Whiskey Maple – “Country Thighs”
Flavour Profile: Rich whiskey marinade with smoky undertones and a sticky maple glaze. Feels like a late-night barn dance in your mouth.
Tagline: Sticky, smoky, and emotionally unavailable. Just like you like 'em.

3. Garlic Black Pepper – “Breath Weapon”
Flavour Profile: Bold cracked pepper and roasted garlic—intense, classic, and not shy about it.
Tagline: It’s bold, it’s bossy, it’s banned in elevators.

4. Honey Sriracha – “Sweet Little Liar”
Flavour Profile: Golden honey lures you in, and the Sriracha burns you on the way out. A full emotional arc.
Tagline: Soft on the tongue, savage in the afterburn. Cute and chaotic.

5. Teriyaki Pineapple – “Jerky Boys II: Fruity & Furious”
Flavour Profile: Sweet soy and pineapple bring a juicy punch, while ginger and garlic remind you who's boss.
Tagline: Tropical rage in chewy form. Comes with a complimentary identity crisis.

6. Korean BBQ Crush – “Tender, With Issues”
Flavour Profile: Deep soy, sesame, chilli, and ginger – like your most addictive situationship.
Tagline: Delicious red flags in jerky form. Swipe right.

7. Bush BBQ Blitz – “Outback Daddy”
Flavour Profile: Smoked Aussie spices, native pepperberry, and BBQ sauce made for the long haul.
Tagline: Smoky, rugged, and tastes like adventure. Possibly barefoot.

8. Bogan Buffalo Blast – “Screams in Ute”
Flavour Profile: Sharp vinegar tang and rich buffalo heat – bold, loud, and unapologetically messy.
Tagline: Loud, proud, and probably covered in dust and opinions.

📝 How to Order

Ready to get jerked? Just fill out the order form.
Select your flavours, drop in your details, and hit Submit.
You’ll get an email (check your junk folder if we’re playing hard to get) with an invoice to finalise your order.

🚚 Pickup & Delivery

📦 Shipping: $10 Express post every Friday with tracking — fast, spicy, and discreet (unlike your last situationship).
📍 Pickup: Saturdays from 9AM–12PM — we’ll hand it over with a wink and a paper bag.